Monday, December 26, 2005
ANTI-CHRISTMAS PROTESTORS STORM ALTOONA
December 26, 2005
For Hundreds of years, the icon known as Santa Claus has taken his post Christmas vacation here in our sleepy town of Altoona. After 12 months of toy manufactoring and a night of globe trotting no one could question his right to some R&R.
A group of 9 unemployed, Christmas protestors, calling themselves, "The Million Person March against Santa" have descended upon Saint Nick's vacation compound, and have set up a media villiage they have dubbed "Camp Comet."
Evan Smith, a Christmas Protestor from Berkley, CA shouted, "Santa Lied... Reindeer Died!" Evan, 31 and in his 13th year of college with no major, is a vetrern of protesting having also helped spear head the Anti-Easter Bunny and Anti-Tooth Fairy movements. "We don't accept, your illegal holliday... No Blood for Snow... No Blood for Snow!"
Santa could not be reached for comment, nor would the, "Icon in a Bubble" meet with the protestors. His spokesman, Hermie Elf, DDS said, "Mr. Claus is doing the people's work while vacationing. He supports the protestors right to their opinions, but he strongly disagrees.
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