Tuesday, December 27, 2005
Murtha Announces Dem Redeployment Plan
MURTHA ANNOUNCES PLANS
FOR DEM REDEPLOYMENT
"Vows to have Dems out
of 12th District in 6 Months"
December 27, 2005
In a stunning development this afternoon, Democratic Congressman Jack "Cut and Run" Murtha, announced his plan to have the Democratic Party withdraw from the 12th Congressional District of Pennsylvania.
Currently, the Dems hold a 2 to 1 advantage in voter registration, a fact the Congressman brought up in today's News Conference. "We've become a target for the Republicans, they don't want us there, we should just pull out, it's obvious we can't win."
"We need to set a target, a date certain when we can bring our Dems home. Possibly we could telephone or text ahead to the Republicans and let them know EXACTLY when we are leaving. Just look at this, 80% of the 12th District thinks Democrats are the party of the French, Pot smokers and welfare moms. Here, 63% of the District would rather have Ranch dressing on their salads than a nice vinaigrette. A clear majority, 71%, beleive the third gunman on the grassy knoll also shot J. R. Ewing on Dallas. And look at this... Nearly nine out of ten 12th district voters believe you should brush after every meal and wait 30 minutes before you go swimming!"