Sunday, January 01, 2006
Mikey's World (Be Like Mike)
TERRORIST ARE PEOPLE TOO!
So Don't Hate
A Conversation with the Brilliant and Unappreciated Mind of Michael Moore
Michael Moore will be playing the part of the Dispationate and Totally Unbiased Fatherly Figure and "Little Timmy" will be playing the part of the Niave Young Victim of the Vast Right Wing Conspiracy.
TERRORIST ARE PEOPLE TOO
Moore: Well young Timmy... they tell me that you've been watching Fox News lately... a channel that is Biased and Only tells one side of the story while making up insinuations about Liberals and our Friends... The Muslims.
Timmy: Golly Gee Mr. Moore... you'd Never do that in one of Your Documentaries huh?
Moore: Ummm yeah sure kid... anyway... what did you learn while watching Fox News?
Timmy: Gosh Golly Mr. Moore... all kinds of cool stuff... how to make a really neato kite that flies really really high... if you ever get lost you should always look for a policeman 'cause the police are our friends... oh and a group of 19 Arab Terrorist brought down the World Trade Center and crashed into the Pentigon.
Moore: Tut Tut... let's not jump to conclusions... what would you say if I told you that those 19 Arabs represented less than 1% of all the Arab people in the world?
Timmy: Golly Gee Willikers Mr. Moore... I had no idea... the Vast Right Wing Republican War Mongers and Haliburton never told me that!!?!! This must be some NeoCon ignoble blood for oil plot thought up by Dick Channey... Donald Rumsfield... and Tom DeLay... Please Tell me more.
Moore: Well... did you know that Hitler was Not a Arab? Neither was that guy that hit Nancy Kerrigan in the knee with the batoon... Jeff Gallooy.
Timmy: Jumpin Jehospaht!!! Really? This changes everything!!! Who else isn't an Arab?
Moore: Draco Malfoy... the brat that's always picking on Harry Potter... not a Terrorist!
Timmy: Nooooooo Way! I thought for sure he was an Arab Terrorist.
Moore: Timmy... that's another thing... using words like Terrorist and Islamic Fanatic are hurtful... very very hurtful... it's much nicer and more sensitive to call them Freedom Fighters and Follower's of Islam. Now another thing... since 19 out of 19 of those... "Freedom Fighters" were of Arab desent... the chances that an Arab will carry out any more Bombings and Hi-jackings are much much less now.
Timmy: Oh I get it... they've already met their quota... Golly that means... the next terrorist could come from anywhere... even my native Denmark! Holy Macrel... My Grandma could be a *gasp* Terrorist!
Moore: Exactly! But don't worry too much... there isn't any oil under Denmark so Bush wont go to war... he just does that to poor Oil producing countries.... just so we can have cheeper gas to fill the engines our gas guzzeling cars.
Timmy: Golly Jeepers Mr. Moore... you mean like that tricked out SUV you pulled up in? Oh... and I thought we invaded Iraq onacountuv Saddam had weapons of mass distruction and junk?
Moore: Well... where are they? Obviously there were none or we would have found them.
Timmy: But didn't he kill thousands of his own people with lethal weapons like sarin gas and amthrax?
Moore: Yeah... but we sold them too him!
Timmy: Oh I see... so when those two loosers shot up all their friends at Columbine High School... they had NO persoanal responsibilites for their act... it wasn't their fault... they were victims of the Gun Lobby and it was the fault of the guy that sold them the guns... and the Christian Coalition... and Tom Delay... and... and when Hitler Gassed the Jews... it was the Chemical Companies Fault... how were the Nazi's to know poison gas would kill them?
Moore: Now you're getting it.
Timmy: Well Paint me Red and call me a Barn Mr. Moore... it sure has been swell talking to you and learning the real truth.
Moore: Sure thing young Timmy... now that will be $15.00
Timmy: Huh... for what?
Moore: I'm effin' Michael Moore bitch... you didn't think this was for free did ya?