The Patriot Blog

Judge Alito Hearing

2006-01-10T16:00:00.000-08:00

Night time in the Rose Garden

2006-01-06T16:31:00.000-08:00

So THAT's the Leaker

2006-01-05T18:44:00.000-08:00

Valerie Plame who?

2006-01-03T18:43:00.000-08:00

MAN FOUND THAT DIDN'T KNOW VALERIE PLAME WORKED FOR CIA
January 3, 2006
ThePATriotBlog

Just last month, this blog, was the first to uncover a real live Gallup poll participant. Well today we have found something even rarer... a person who claims to have NOT KNOWN Valerie Plame worked for the CIA.

I know...
Shocking...

Evidently he wasn't in Scooter Libby's email address book.

The man, Charles Wilson, says he doesn't have much time to watch a lot of TV and pay attention to world events so apparently the news of Miss Plame's outing came as a shock.

"No way... next thing you're going to tell me we landed a man on the moon!" said Wilson. We then informed him that, yes indeed, we have landed men on the moon to which he replied, "Well good for JFK... he said we'd do it and he was right... how is old John doing anyway?" Sadly we had to inform Mr. Wilson that President Kennedy was assassinated in 1963.

Mr. Wilson was happy to hear the Berlin Wall came down but was dismayed to find out about OJ Simpson and his former wife Nicole, "You'd have thought they'd have had something in the news about something that big... wouldn't ya?"

Finally Mr. Wilson asked to see a picture of Mrs. Plame...

"Ohhhhhh Joe Wilson's wife the CIA agent...
Heck everybody knows who she is!"

2006-01-03T18:09:00.000-08:00

DISTRICT OF COLUMBIA
TO OPEN
NEW WALMART
January 3, 2006
by The PATroitBlog

Well Supremes...
don't say we didn't warn you but...
The Patriot Blog has just found out that the District of Columbia has invoked it's "Takings Clause" right of eminent domain and will be selling off a piece of property that brought No Tax Revenue. The Supreme Court Building.

In it's place, they intend to open a Walmart Super Center.
Guess those Judges will have to get real Jobs now!
hmmmm...

Ewwwww... well it was Just a Thought!

Now they Got "W"... they got proof

2006-01-02T08:56:00.000-08:00

NEW YORK TIMES REVEALS
"THE BIG ONE"
Proof Positive that Bush and Blair "Sexed Up" Evidence Pre-Invasion
January 2, 2006
by The PATriotBlog

In a stunning revelation of just how vile and corrupt the current administration is, the unbiased and totally fair New York Times revealed two documents that are sure to have Liberal nut bag bloggers and Left wing CSPAN callers abuzz for months.

Pinch "My daddy gave me this job" Salzburg made this statement...

"Okay we've been fooled before. Had our hopes up and then dashed. We thought Richard Clark with his "hair on fire" would bring down this administration. We thought the 911 Commission surely would show the world what a doo doo head Bush is for not connecting the dots. Certainly the 60 minutes Bush AWOL hit piece just before the election was going to do it. Katrina... Abu Gharib... Gitmo... Torture... 2,000 soldiers killed... effin' Cindy Sheehan and Dick Murtha for crying out loud... certainly the American People would revolt because the President is wire tapping terrorist... what is it going to take??? Well... now we got "W" by the short hairs... we got proof positive he cooked up the WMD evidence and Tony Blair sexed it up as well... we have..."

"The Downing Street Post-It-Note!"
"Take that W!"

"And... we also have this..."

"The Downing Street Doodle!"

Senate Democrats, in an amazing moment of clairvoyance, rushed to the Senate floor 30 minutes before the story broke, to decry these documents. "It's time for the President to step down from office. Clearly he's broken some law at some time. What we need now, is to have a by patrician committee appoint a successor so that the country can begin to heal. I would suggest a Senator from New York perhaps... a male senator." Said Senator Chuck Shummer (D) NY. Added Republican Senator Arlen Specter, "What we need to do now is hold hearings and make a huge spectacle of all this before we have any idea if these documents are even real. I intend to have televised hearings immediately. What's most important is that the Liberal Washington Press and moderates in Pennsylvania will all Love me now."

(Story Developing)

Mikey's World (Be Like Mike)

2006-01-01T11:48:00.000-08:00

Lesson One:
TERRORIST ARE PEOPLE TOO!
So Don't Hate

A Conversation with the Brilliant and Unappreciated Mind of Michael Moore

Michael Moore will be playing the part of the Dispationate and Totally Unbiased Fatherly Figure and "Little Timmy" will be playing the part of the Niave Young Victim of the Vast Right Wing Conspiracy.

And now...

TERRORIST ARE PEOPLE TOO

Moore: Well young Timmy... they tell me that you've been watching Fox News lately... a channel that is Biased and Only tells one side of the story while making up insinuations about Liberals and our Friends... The Muslims.
Timmy: Golly Gee Mr. Moore... you'd Never do that in one of Your Documentaries huh?
Moore: Ummm yeah sure kid... anyway... what did you learn while watching Fox News?
Timmy: Gosh Golly Mr. Moore... all kinds of cool stuff... how to make a really neato kite that flies really really high... if you ever get lost you should always look for a policeman 'cause the police are our friends... oh and a group of 19 Arab Terrorist brought down the World Trade Center and crashed into the Pentigon.
Moore: Tut Tut... let's not jump to conclusions... what would you say if I told you that those 19 Arabs represented less than 1% of all the Arab people in the world?
Timmy: Golly Gee Willikers Mr. Moore... I had no idea... the Vast Right Wing Republican War Mongers and Haliburton never told me that!!?!! This must be some NeoCon ignoble blood for oil plot thought up by Dick Channey... Donald Rumsfield... and Tom DeLay... Please Tell me more.
Moore: Well... did you know that Hitler was Not a Arab? Neither was that guy that hit Nancy Kerrigan in the knee with the batoon... Jeff Gallooy.
Timmy: Jumpin Jehospaht!!! Really? This changes everything!!! Who else isn't an Arab?
Moore: Draco Malfoy... the brat that's always picking on Harry Potter... not a Terrorist!
Timmy: Nooooooo Way! I thought for sure he was an Arab Terrorist.
Moore: Timmy... that's another thing... using words like Terrorist and Islamic Fanatic are hurtful... very very hurtful... it's much nicer and more sensitive to call them Freedom Fighters and Follower's of Islam. Now another thing... since 19 out of 19 of those... "Freedom Fighters" were of Arab desent... the chances that an Arab will carry out any more Bombings and Hi-jackings are much much less now.
Timmy: Oh I get it... they've already met their quota... Golly that means... the next terrorist could come from anywhere... even my native Denmark! Holy Macrel... My Grandma could be a *gasp* Terrorist!
Moore: Exactly! But don't worry too much... there isn't any oil under Denmark so Bush wont go to war... he just does that to poor Oil producing countries.... just so we can have cheeper gas to fill the engines our gas guzzeling cars.
Timmy: Golly Jeepers Mr. Moore... you mean like that tricked out SUV you pulled up in? Oh... and I thought we invaded Iraq onacountuv Saddam had weapons of mass distruction and junk?
Moore: Well... where are they? Obviously there were none or we would have found them.
Timmy: But didn't he kill thousands of his own people with lethal weapons like sarin gas and amthrax?
Moore: Yeah... but we sold them too him!
Timmy: Oh I see... so when those two loosers shot up all their friends at Columbine High School... they had NO persoanal responsibilites for their act... it wasn't their fault... they were victims of the Gun Lobby and it was the fault of the guy that sold them the guns... and the Christian Coalition... and Tom Delay... and... and when Hitler Gassed the Jews... it was the Chemical Companies Fault... how were the Nazi's to know poison gas would kill them?
Moore: Now you're getting it.
Timmy: Well Paint me Red and call me a Barn Mr. Moore... it sure has been swell talking to you and learning the real truth.
Moore: Sure thing young Timmy... now that will be $15.00
Timmy: Huh... for what?
Moore: I'm effin' Michael Moore bitch... you didn't think this was for free did ya?

Year ending on time seen as defeat for Bush administration

2005-12-30T20:23:00.000-08:00

YEAR NOT COMING TO AN END TILL DECEMBER 31st SEEN AS A MAJOR DEFEAT FOR BUSH ADMINISTRATION
December 30, 2005
by The PATriotBlog
Anonymous sources inside the White House, speculated that possibly there was an outside chance that maybe the President wouldn't have minded if this year came to an end a day earlier. It is believed that the President was hoping to put 2005 behind him. A year full of mis-steps, gaffes and possible illegal activities that was speculated may have occurred.

Senate Democrats rushed to the floor to protest what they called AND WE THE MEDIA GLADLY TRUMPETED, "A culture of Moving On"

Senate minority leader Harry Reid said, "The President wants us to just go on like tomorrow is the day before a new year. Well not under our watch Mr. President... you big Loser!" Other Democrats threatened a filibuster if the Republicans tried to start the new year on the first of January.

Senator Kerry, who according to Rush Limbaugh, served in Vietnam, added this. "I don't see a need to RUSH into a new year. We should let the year inspectors do their job first. We have 2005 contained. What we should be doing is going after 2004. If I was president, we'd have a coalition of countries to make sure changing the year is the right thing to do. We need to go back to the UN and get permission from the general council. This administration is recklessly taking us into a go it alone year change.

Kayne West, noted musician and rapper, which makes him more than qualified to comment on politics, had this to say. "Bush hates Black People... that's why he wants to change years. He aint messin' wid no broke broke..."

Press Secretary, Scott McClellan, was quick to point out that the year ended on December 31st during other administrations and that this was perfectly legal and with in the President's constitutional powers. This was verified by a quick Google of [when does the year end] but McClellan is a Republican and not to be trusted so we fact checked it with similar searches of Yahoo and Ask Geeves. All three seemed to verify the Press Secretaries statement... so we brought in our own expert to pooh pooh it and cast doubt on it.

Author and unabashed FDR butt kisser, Doris Kearns Goodwin had this to say. Yes it's true that many years ended on the 31st during other administrations. One time President Howard Taft forgot to buy his wife a Christmas gift the week before and she didn't speak to him until well into the 2nd week of January. But yeah... Bush sucks! Okay, make the check out to Doris K. Goodwin... hey do you guys validate parking??

My Whacky Iraqi Neighbor

2005-12-30T07:05:00.000-08:00

MY WACKY
IRAQI NEIGHBOR

Hi, my name is Patrick Stuckey and I am the writer and creator of this blog. If you've just started reading me... welcome... if you are a returning guest (and theres a few of ya) thank you... please seek help.

Anywho, I thought I'd take a slight break from my "Drudge-esque" like news reporting to tell you a little about my next door neighbor Bob.

About 2 years ago I got a new neighbor from Iraq. It was all part of the "Adopt a neighbor from a Foreign Country you Invaded and are Currently Occupying so that you can steal all their oil and give it to Dick Channey and Haliburton" program. Maybe you heard of it?

So like I said... Bob and his wife Josophat pretty much keep to themselves. Josi did come over about a week after they moved in to borrow a cup of goats milk but as luck would have it... I was fresh out. Anyway, my new neighbor, Robert Baghdad, has a rather... unique perspective on things. One day we were discussing the elections in Iraq...

(Me) So Bob... how's bout them elections over their in Iraq... Democracy Much??
(Bob) What elections... there are no need for elections unless our supreme commander and benevolent ruler Saddam Hussein determines a need for them. May Allah bless his loins and grant him many children.
(Me) But Bob... it's been all over the news... well right after the Valerie Plame leak stuff and "Bush wants to take away our civil rights" stuff... but surely you saw all those Iraqi people... voters... with purple fingers.
(Bob) That can be explained. In Iraq we celebrate the magnificence of our royal leader and omnipotent Prime Minister Saddam the Mighty... Saddam the Great... by dipping our fingers in purple ink. The Iraqi people love Saddam.
(Me) Hmmmm? But... isn't Saddam on trial... I think I saw that once on CNN between stories about Tom DeLay stealing elections Republicans taking our tax dollars and giving them to Bill Gates?
(Bob) All Lies! Saddam is our Leader... it is the criminal George Bush who will be convicted and hung from the highest tree in Iraq. Birds will pluck out his eyes and animals will eat his entrails till their bellies are full. Children will sing songs of Saddam's greatness and the goodness of his mercy. You watching the game tonight... Josophat is having a Tupperware party and it's gunna be wall to wall yapping women.
(Me) Yeah sure... come on over.

See what I mean... life in Suburbia... God Bless America

(Bob) And may Allah look favorably over all your camel and your daughters virginity.

Yeah... what he just said.

Bill Clinton Switches Parties

2005-12-29T19:55:00.000-08:00

FORMER PRESIDENT
BILL CLINTON
TO SWITCH PARTIES
December 29, 2005 (Story Developing)
by The PATriotBlog

In a stunning piece of "Inside the Beltway tripe"... okay I'm soooo under playing this... we're talking Huge here peeps... Former Two Term Democratic President William Jefferson "Have Sax... You Blow" Clinton has announced he is... Switching Parties!!! Bite me... Now that's Big!

Der-Slickster, as he's affectionately known, made the announcement while doing the "Imus in the Morning" show. A radio talk show televised on MSNBC, that actually gets more viewers than most of MSNBDNC's late night regular shows... let me repeat that... a R-A-D-I-O show that gets more V-I-E-W-E-R-S than the prime time Softballs and Oberdorks.

Clinton said, "Bite Me, I-Man... but come on... every night on the pundit talk show's it's the same thing... the Lib's have Margaret Carlson, Eleanor Clift, and Barney Franks sister... Ann Lewis.

I mean Woof ... those three would even make Stevie Wonder flinch. Barney once told me that when his siter Ann was born the Doctor's told his mother... "Well it's gunna get ugly from here on!"

"Now the Republicans... they've got Laura Ingraham, Ann Coulter and Michelle Malkin! I mean Helloooooo...

...Talk to the hand cause the former POTUS aint listening... we're talking 'The Perfect Storm' of Haw...Teeness! And that's not even counting the girls from Fox News. Fair and balanced??? I think Not! Were talking 'Shock and Aweeeeeeee!' King's Knight to Queen's Bishop 4... Perk and Perkmate!"

"It aint no thang but a Chicken Right Wang!"

Dems Plan to Take back the White Hizza

2005-12-29T18:17:00.000-08:00

DEMS PLAN
TWO PRONG
ATTACK
TO TAKE
BACK THE
WHITE HIZZA
December 29, 2005
by The PATriotBlog

Democratic National Committee Chairman Dr. Howard "Scream Boy" Dean held a late afternoon press conference to announce the Democratic Party's Latest, New, Two Prong attack to take back control of Pennsylvania Avenue. This coming on the heels of their madly successful campaign of "Hey let's throw another Massachusetts Liberal out their to run for President", which proceeded their stunningly effective, "How's 'bout a stiff 'know-it-all' nerd bomb who makes stuff up like inventing the internet".

"We've identified the problem as to why we keep getting skunked at the polls. Basically it comes down to this. Our Image and the Black Vote. See, 91% of African Americans voted for John Kerry last year... they're gunna have to pick it up some... we can't keep carrying them as a party! As to the Image problem or what I like to call... 'That Vision Thing'... we've decided to go all Hip Hop up in Haaaaare... hopefully to attract a younger crowd... so with that... allow me to introduce the new face of the Democratic Party..."

"Yo Yo Yo... s'up muh bish'es and ho's? Doctor D's gotz some mad flava skillz and we be breakin this hare thing down Compton... Pimp style... old skooleooo. Now check it... we aint playin no more witcha... it's oooon... time to throw down with the Republican bish'es... that's whackity whack... so yo... we goin' gangsta... we goin'...

E Master
DonkeyStein

"Now that's what I'm talkin' 'bout iiiight!"

The Evil Bush Administration and those W'ascally Terrowist

2005-12-29T06:19:00.000-08:00

ANOTHER
effin'
MAINSTREAM
MEDIA
EXCLUSIVE
December 29, 2005
by The PATriotBlog

Yes, From the Same People who brought you Non-Stop Wall to Wall Abu Gharib Nekkie Pictures... yeah those ones... but were outraged by the "salacious" details of the Starr Report.
From the Same Peeps that want to keep us safe by telling Bin Laden "Hey Osama baby... we're soooo tracking your cell phone beoootch!"
From our Buds at the news desk that feel it's "Oh so important to fight the War on Crime by revealing where and which countries are keeping our prisoners!" (I'm feeling Safer already)
From the same Accurate... "verify and get it right"... Mainstream Media that brought you... Koran Flushing.
And from the same "America First" journalist that gave us "Bush Administration Approved Wire Taps!"
cough*so did Carter/Reagan/Bush1/Clinton too*cough

Comes this...

BUSH [Read: Evil] ADMINISTRATION SENDING KNOWN TERRORIST WHO WANT TO KILL US TO HORRIBLE MEAN PRISON CAMPS ON US SOIL
(Be Sure to check the Times Sunday Magazine... "Is it good for America to send Terrorist to Prisons and what does that say about us as a people?")
In another unprecedented move, *if you don't count the times Clinton did it* the Bush Administration, under a program known as Rendition, is sending captured terror... freedom fighters to US Super Secret Prison camps in third world states... namely West Virginia.

Your friends and watchdogs, the Mainstream Media, have uncovered *we got another Bush hater to leak to us* proof that terror... Jihadist lovers of Islam, are being housed in this Black Op's West Virginia Prison.

White House Press secretary Scott McClellan, admitted the policy of Rendition was being used but denied Torture was going on. "No Helen, torture is still illegal in West Virginia, however you can still marry your first cousins, but... let me clarify this point... you must be at least 13 years of age and have written permission from either your parents or siblings... or both if that applies." Said McClellan.

Senator Jay Rockefeller was asked what he thought about Combatants being sent to Prisons in West Virginia. The Senator was outraged. "How can we know what goes on there... has anyone ever been there? Where's the accountability? I mean, what do we really know about these... West Virginians?"

One punk ass reporter from... Fox Neeeeeeews *makes gagging motion* reminded the Senator he was from West Virginia. Hours later, Senator Rockefeller produced a Secret Letter he sent to himself that nobody else has seen but we're gunna report it as fact 'cause, we're good like that. The letter, according to "the Jaymeister" was dated before 2002, and in it "the Jay-man" expressed grave concerns about the President's plan for rendition... and first cousin's getting married. He also slipped us a couple of totally fetch "sweet seats" for an upcoming Nationals game so... it's all good... it's all good!

(Story Developing)

More Arnold/Tookie Backlash

2005-12-28T18:39:00.000-08:00

SCHWARZENEGGER/TOOKIE
BACKLASH CONTINUES
December 28, 2005
by ThePATriotBlog

Governator Arnold Schwarzenegger had hoped to put the whole Tookie Williams, Austrian Hometown Stadium naming thingie behind him. In a statement released to the press this afternoon the Governor said, "I had hoped to put the whole Tookie Williams, Austrian Hometown Stadium naming thingie behind me, but it keeps coming Baaah-ck!"

After the Governor declined to spare the life of Nobel Prize Nominee and author of Children's books, Tookie "Frame Job" Williams, an uprising swelled across "America loving" Europe. Calls to have his name removed from a stadium in his home town soon followed.

In order to stem off the embarrassment of his hometown renaming a stadium once named for the famous movie star slash California governor, Schwarzenegger asked that his name be removed first.

Well now a Backlash has occured. The people of California have decided to rename Vienna Sausages...

wait for it...

Victory Sausages!

This just in... Long time Democratic activist and Hollywood elite, Fred and Doris Ziffel, have issued the following statement.

"We can not agree with Governor Schwarzenegger decision to not intercede in the Death Penalty of Tookie Williams. Therefore, we are renaming our pig. From now on, he will be called... Gray Davis."

Saddam shows Proof of Torture

2005-12-28T17:58:00.000-08:00

December 28, 2005
by ThePATriotBlog

SADDAM'S LAWYERS REVEAL
PROOF HE WAS TORTURED
Baghdad, Iraq: The lead attorney for former Iraqi dictator Saddam "Mother of All Surrenders" Hussein, has produced documented proof that his client was tortured while under Coalition detainment. Ramsey "Hate America First" Clark appeared with Hussein before a joint press confrence today and offered up this proof.

"My client was subjected to various forms of torture including sleep deprivation and non-stop loud music", said Clark. Asked to clarify what forms of torture, Clark further explained. "The pumped Ozzy Osbourne, Ted Nugent, Barbara Streisand and Hanson's Ombop 24/7 into his cell."

Hussein added, "Hey, some of it wasn't all bad, I mean "Nuge"... the Motorcity Madman... especially some of the tracks off his 'Double Live Gonzo' CD... that's some killer shit... now that's what I'm talking about... but bite me... Barabara Streisand??? I mean yeah sure.... maybe I killed a couple million people but nobody deserves that! The woman didn't age well if you're following me on this."

Hussein and Clark also produced this totally un-retouched photograph...

Saddam had this final word, "Hey... blasting loud music into my cell 24/7... parading my ass around half naked... all this I can put up with... but... but then those bastards committed the ultimate attrocity...

Evan Thomas and Michael Isikoff could not be reached for comment.

PA and CONN to swap Senators

2005-12-28T17:43:00.000-08:00

PENNSYLVANIA LOOKS TO MAKE TRADE WITH CONNECTICUT FOR PENNANT STRETCH RUN
December 28, 2005
by The PATriotBlog

The states of Pennsylvania and Connecticut have been negotiating an inter-party trade that would send switch hitting Senator Arlen Specter to Connecticut for future prospect, Senator Joseph Lieberman and a Congressman to be named later.

At first blush it would appear Connecticut is getting the better of the deal, Specter is a 5 term Power Hitter serving as the Chairman of the influential Justice Committee. Lieberman, a 3 term soft spoken reliever, has been a steady closer out of the bull pen for his party, and at one point looked to have super stardom at his reach when he was chosen to be a candidate for vice-president.

Republican coach Ken Mehlman has high hopes for Lieberman, possibly a lefty coming out of the pen or for long relief in a clean up mode. Dem skipper Howard Dean is happy to get a senator of Specter's qualifications.

"Arlene has a good rep in this league. He swings from both sides of the issue, usually throws from the right but he's been known to toss a few curves of his own... to the far left."

Both sides feel they've helped themselves with this trade... but The PATriotBlog sees this trade as a...
Lose Lose proposition.

Dowd appears Desperate

2005-12-28T06:03:00.000-08:00

NEW YORK TIMES COLUMNIST TO APPEAR ON DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES
December 28, 2005 (Story Developing)
by ThePATriotBlog
Maureen Dowd, opinionated columnist and SINGLE, will be making several appearances on ABC's hit show, Desperate Housewives (Sunday, 9:00pm).

MISS Dowd, will be playing the part of Hagatha Eazy, an aging spin stress who's meaning in life is slipping away. Freightened and desperate for love, she bounces from one bed to the next as her biological clock's snooze alarm is pushed way beyond it's limit. Maureen said of her time on the show...

"I love this part, I get to be a bitchy old crone who's sole purpose is to go around criticizing everyone else's life because mine is so desperately inadequate. A real stretch for me, but that's what makes it so much fun!"

Teri Hatcher, who plays the part of Susan Mayer on the show, was quite impressed with Miss Dowd's acting ability.

"She's amazing, really, she had absolutely No training yet from day one when she set foot on stage she was "In character" and stayed that way throughout. I real pro!"

Show producer Liz Gratchen was equally impressed, "We were looking for a real angry bitch, someone who could play the part over the top and still come off as credible. It's not often you find someone who is so well suited for their part. Once we got passed the 'incident' everything was smooth sailing."

The "incident" Gratchen referred to took place on the 2nd day of shooting when Miss Dowd showed up disheveled and late for work after a night of debauchery with at least 5 male members of the stage crew.

Gallup Reveals Pollee

2005-12-28T05:19:00.000-08:00

PERSON WHO WAS ACTUALLY POLLED BY GALLUP REVEALED
December 28, 2005 (Story Developing)
by ThePATriotBlog

Tired of years and years of criticism about their polling numbers, and hearing, "Well I've Never been Polled!" The Gallup Organization, decided to bring forth one of their actual pollee's.

His name has been withheld, but Gallup did provide a list of questions he was asked his opinion on as well as his responses.

1) Should the Government provide Free Health care from cradle to grave? Ummmmm Yes
2) Should the Government provide Free Housing? Okay
3) Should the Government make sure your teeth are brushed, you're wearing clean underwear and your shoes are tied? That would be nice
4) People are losing their jobs everyday, money is tight, the stock market down since Clinton was in office and we're ALL just one paycheck away from poverty, do you approve of how President Bush is handling the economy. Ummmm no I guess, which one's Bush again?
5) Our soldiers are dying in an ennoble war for oil by the thousands, we are hated and despised all over the world because of the president's "Go it alone" attitude half his administration is under investigation for leaking a CIA operative to the press and the other half should be, in what some are calling cough*Democrats*cough a culture of corruption, and now... NOW we find out the effin bastard has been spying on US citizens as we talk on the phone on our way to the bowling alley... should congress start impeachment hearings and the answer is yes? ahhh... Yes

Murtha Announces Dem Redeployment Plan

2005-12-27T19:22:00.000-08:00

MURTHA ANNOUNCES PLANS
FOR DEM REDEPLOYMENT
"Vows to have Dems out
of 12th District in 6 Months"
December 27, 2005
The PATriotBlog

In a stunning development this afternoon, Democratic Congressman Jack "Cut and Run" Murtha, announced his plan to have the Democratic Party withdraw from the 12th Congressional District of Pennsylvania.

Currently, the Dems hold a 2 to 1 advantage in voter registration, a fact the Congressman brought up in today's News Conference. "We've become a target for the Republicans, they don't want us there, we should just pull out, it's obvious we can't win."

Murtha produced poll numbers, from the unbiased Democratic National Committee, to bolster his argument.

"We need to set a target, a date certain when we can bring our Dems home. Possibly we could telephone or text ahead to the Republicans and let them know EXACTLY when we are leaving. Just look at this, 80% of the 12th District thinks Democrats are the party of the French, Pot smokers and welfare moms. Here, 63% of the District would rather have Ranch dressing on their salads than a nice vinaigrette. A clear majority, 71%, beleive the third gunman on the grassy knoll also shot J. R. Ewing on Dallas. And look at this... Nearly nine out of ten 12th district voters believe you should brush after every meal and wait 30 minutes before you go swimming!"

(Story Developing)

Murtha Announce Upcoming Tour Dates

2005-12-27T18:26:00.000-08:00

CONGRESSMAN MURTHA
ANNOUNCES UPCOMING
TOUR DATES
December 27, 2005
by ThePATriotBlog

Congressman John "Hit the Road Jack" Murtha of the 12th District has just announced his Tour dates for the upcoming month of January.

Last year's tour, the "Kiss the Ring Media... Go on... Kiss the Ring" tour was such a success that this year they've brought back the same media but renamed it to keep it fresh. The Tour has been dubbed, "John Murtha's Mainstream Media Magical Mystery Tour: 15 Minutes and Beyond", and will concentrate on the three or four Networks the Congressman Didn't get interviewed on last year. The Food Channel, The Home Shopping Network and Fishing with Orlando.

Once again, MSNBDNC will be sponsoring the tour.

MSNBDNC spokesman Chris Matthews had this to say, "I'm hoping the Congressman will avail himself to more of my tough interview questions... like...

Don't you think President Bush is a Liar or a complete Idiot and actually Chenney and Libby are running the entire war from the Vice President's Office?

It's obvious the Iraqi's don't want us over there, they had it much better under Saddamn... at least the trains ran on time... why is it that you Congressman Murtha, are so effin' fantastic and Bush is a Liar or a Complete Idiot?"

If you were a tree, that is to say if a Congressman from Pennsylvania, a decorated Vietnam Vet, could actually be a tree, what kind of tree do you suppose you'd be and why is Bush such a Liar and a Complete Idiot?"

Developing

2005-12-26T18:14:00.000-08:00

ANTI-CHRISTMAS PROTESTORS STORM ALTOONA
December 26, 2005
by ThePATriotBlog

For Hundreds of years, the icon known as Santa Claus has taken his post Christmas vacation here in our sleepy town of Altoona. After 12 months of toy manufactoring and a night of globe trotting no one could question his right to some R&R.

Until now.

A group of 9 unemployed, Christmas protestors, calling themselves, "The Million Person March against Santa" have descended upon Saint Nick's vacation compound, and have set up a media villiage they have dubbed "Camp Comet."

Evan Smith, a Christmas Protestor from Berkley, CA shouted, "Santa Lied... Reindeer Died!" Evan, 31 and in his 13th year of college with no major, is a vetrern of protesting having also helped spear head the Anti-Easter Bunny and Anti-Tooth Fairy movements. "We don't accept, your illegal holliday... No Blood for Snow... No Blood for Snow!"

"Santa Lied... Reindeer died! We don't accept, your illegal holliday... No Blood for Snow... No Blood for Snow!"

Santa could not be reached for comment, nor would the, "Icon in a Bubble" meet with the protestors. His spokesman, Hermie Elf, DDS said, "Mr. Claus is doing the people's work while vacationing. He supports the protestors right to their opinions, but he strongly disagrees.
(Story Developing)

2005-12-25T17:29:00.000-08:00

my hometown -- altoona pa
by ThePATriot Blog ~ Christmas, 12-25-2005

And now some news and notes from Central Pennsylvania

DECORATIONS HONOR FALLEN SOLDIER
December 24, 2005
ALTOONA MIRROR
By David Hurst, Staff Writter

Bakerton - Robin Fagan's 2nd Street home is decked out for Christmas with banners, flags and red, white and blue. It's a message, she says, for her nephew and her president.
The message to fallen soldier Staff Sgt. Dan Lightner: I'm proud of you.
The message to George W. Bush: It's time to start bringing troops home.

"This banner and these lights are staying up until the soldiers come home from Iraq," she said. I hope the president sees it. I just think we've done what we can over there, and it's time to start bringing them back home."
A banner is draped across the porch on her grayish Bakerton home, a salute to current and fallen soldiers. Fagan said she went all over the area looking for patriotic decor, buying out strings of red, white and blue lights that local drug and dollar stores usually sell for the Fourth of July.

"Right now, I have about a dozen 3 foot flags and 2,200 lights," she said. "I only wish I would have done this last year."
Lightner, 28, volunteered for a second stint in the Middle East this year and was stationed in Ramadi province this fall. He was part of a 14-unit convoy conducting combat operations October 27 when his vehicle struck a roadside bomb.
It was his sister's birthday.

"Danny wanted to be over there. He beleived they were there for a good reason," 23-year-old Shonda Lightner said. "He didn't talk about it much. He didn't even want us to know that he volunteered."
His siter and aunt described Dan as a caring, deeply religious man who strived to help people. He had been a state trooper since 2003 and was the first from Pennsylvania to die in Iraq. Fagan said.

"His answer was that somebody had to do it, and if we don't go after them, they're coming after us," she said.

Much like poll numbers show nationwide, Dan Lightner's family is split on the war.
She thought her aunt's decision to support the troops was a good idea but does not think the U.S. should pull out of Iraq.

"They need to stay until whatever they have to do is finished. My brother's gone, so they can't just quit. My brother was really proud to be over there," Shonda Lightner said.
Fagan believes the military has done all they can. Saddam Hussein's regime has been overthrown, Hussein has been caught and no weapons of mass destruction have were found.

"I don't think the Iraqi's even want us over there anymore," she added. "I think the president's having trouble dealing with the damage he's done, and he doesn't know what to do next."

Dan's mother, Judy, doesn't pay attention to war news on television anymore adding only "that I have to go along with Danny," because he believed the work in Iraq wasn't finished. "He beleived he could get over there and save the world," she said.

As opinionated as I am... I'm just going to let this story stand for it's self.
Being Christmas I'll just add... God Bless the Lightner family... all of them!
Patrick ~ ThePATriotBlog

Additional Links:
PA STATE POLICE
OFFICER.COM
USDoD

2005-12-25T11:21:00.000-08:00

I guess you're right linus.
I shouldn't have picked this little tree.
Everything I do turns into a disaster.
I guess I really don't know what Christmas is all about."

"Isn't there anyone who knows what Christmas is all about?"

"Sure, Charlie Brown."
I can tell you what Christmas is all about."

"And there were in the same country sheperds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night.
And lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them; and they were sore afraid.
And the angel said unto them, Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people. For unto you is born this day in the city of David, a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord.
And this shall be a sign unto you: Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger.
And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God, and saying, Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men."
Luke 2: 8-14

FIVE THINGS: About 'A Charlie Brown Christmas'
December 6, 2005
BY EMILIANA SANDOVAL
DETROIT FREE PRESS STAFF WRITER
(LINK)

Many say no TV show captures the magic of the season like "A Charlie Brown Christmas" does. Charlie Brown's search for the true meaning of the holiday transports us back to a simpler time, pre-cable, pre-Internet, pre-adulthood. Sigh.

Coke was it
Coca-Cola sponsored the inaugural show, in 1965. Because Coke paid the bill, it got some key product references. In the opening skating sequence, Snoopy sends Linus flying. Linus originally landed on a Coke sign. At the end of the show, a credit read, "Merry Christmas from your local bottler of Coca-Cola." A later FCC ruling banned the use of sponsor references in children's shows, and the sign and credit were taken out. Ah, the good old days, when kids were protected from the capitalist marketing machine.
Driven
Ford's new ad for "Keep It Simple" pricing uses the "Linus and Lucy" song from the Christmas special. A Nov. 24 post on www.autoblog.com says of the ad, "It certainly isn't anything Schulz may have approved of," referring to Charles Schulz, the Peanuts creator. But actually, the first time the Peanuts gang got animated was in 1960 in a TV commercial for the Ford Falcon. See Lucy and Linus talk about Falcons in a 1962 ad at www.billmelendez.tv. Some of the print ads are at www.snoopy.cpilgrim.com/Collection/Falcon.htm.
Wah-wah-wah
The teacher's voice was really a trombone, muted by a plunger. Perfect.
The kids' voices were done by kid actors, some of whom didn't know how to read and were too young to understand the lines.
He scored
One of the things TV execs despised about the show -- besides the religious references, the lack of a laugh track and the use of real kids' voices -- was the jazzy score by Vince Guaraldi. But viewers loved it, and "Linus and Lucy" -- it's totally stuck in your head now, isn't it? -- became known as the Peanuts theme song. Guaraldi did the score for 15 "Peanuts" specials. He died of a heart attack on Feb. 6, 1976, the same day he'd finished recording the soundtrack for "It's Arbor Day, Charlie Brown."
Test your IQ
Which popular, outspoken Peanuts character was not in the Christmas special? Answer that question and others at www.factmonster.com/spot/cbrown1.html. (I got a 90%. I'm just sayin'.) Another quiz is at www.funtrivia.com/playquiz/quiz2661530f0d0.html
More links to the Peanuts gang: www.schulzmuseum.org; www.snoopy.com/comics/peanuts
And the answer is Peppermint Patty.

2005-12-24T19:20:00.000-08:00

MICHELLE???
IT'S CHRISTMAS EVE GIRLFRIEND...
TAKE A BREAK ALREADY...
YOU SURE DESERVE ONE!
by ThePATriot Blog™
Total Babe and Right Wing Mega Bloggerette MICHELLE MALKIN is all over the NEW YORK TIMES and their disgraceful continuation of Annonymous Sourced Leaked Information. (STORY)

'Twas the day before Christmas
And all through the Times
Hysteria reigned over
Bush's "impeachable crimes"...

THE NEW YORK TIMES STRIKES AGAIN
By Michelle Malkin · December 24, 2005 09:59 AM

Yes, the New York Times continues to show its disregard for our nation's security, publishing additional classified information about the NSA's much-hyped surveillance program. Now it's a report that the NSA program traced and analyzed huge numbers of calls to and from terrorist hotspots such as Afghanistan, not just those sent to or from suspected al Qaeda operatives:

The volume of information harvested from telecommunication data and voice networks, without court-approved warrants, is much larger than the White House has acknowledged, the officials said. It was collected by tapping directly into some of the American telecommunication system's main arteries, they said.
As part of the program approved by President Bush for domestic surveillance without warrants, the N.S.A. has gained the cooperation of American telecommunications companies to obtain backdoor access to streams of domestic and international communications, the officials said....
What has not been publicly acknowledged is that N.S.A. technicians, besides actually eavesdropping on specific conversations, have combed through large volumes of phone and Internet traffic in search of patterns that might point to terrorism suspects. Some officials describe the program as a large data-mining operation.

Michelle (In her own sweet non-abrasive way) RIPS THE TIMES AN effin' NEW ONE as she points out mistake after mistake...

Today's New York Times article chases yesterday's Boston Globe report that the NSA program may have intercepted all electronic communications between the U.S. and overseas. According to the Globe, the NSA program "captures reams of data from satellites, fiberoptic lines, and Internet switching stations, and then uses a computer to check for names, numbers, and words that have been identified as suspicious."

Both the Globe article and today's Times article appear to contradict what the Times said in its original report about the breadth of monitoring being conducted under the NSA program:

While many details about the program remain secret, officials familiar with it say the N.S.A. eavesdrops without warrants on up to 500 people in the United States at any given time. The list changes as some names are added and others dropped, so the number monitored in this country may have reached into the thousands since the program began, several officials said. Overseas, about 5,000 to 7,000 people suspected of terrorist ties are monitored at one time, according to those officials.

Based on the latest Times and Globe reports, it now appears that the NSA has been intercepting international phone calls and e-mails to and from perhaps millions of Americans, not just a few hundred or thousand as the Times initially asserted.

Michelle rightly ask...
Will the Times be issuing a correction?

Owwwwwwwie!
That's gunna leave a cute Michelle mark! You go girl!
And she does...

The latest Times and Globe articles suggest that the NSA surveillance program monitored far more phone numbers and e-mail addresses than those obtained from captured al Qaeda operatives and their associates.

What other basic facts about the NSA program did the Times get wrong?

That extra year of reporting on the story doesn't seem to have been well spent, eh, Bill Keller?

Check and Checkmate Billy!

Go Michelle It's your birthday
Not for real real
Just for play play

And here's more ~~

Rick Moran at Rightwing Nuthouse is ticked off:
John Hinderaker weighs in too:
Related:
Scott Johnson: Thinking about the great liberator
Big Lizards: The Times' Reach Exceeds Its Grasp
Kevin Drum: What is the NSA up to?
DefenseTech: New tech behind NSA snoop case?
DefenseTech: NSA "tapping into... telecom's main arteries"
Richard Posner: Our domestic intelligence crisis
Kevin Drum: More on the NSA program
CNet: Inside Cisco's eavesdropping apparatus
Hugh Hewitt's interview with Univ. of Chicago professor Cass Sunstein
John Hinderaker: On the legality of the NSA electronic intercept program

Ya know... I'm making it my New Year's Resolution to get a shouts out from Michelle in 2006!

Hey... a Blogger can dream can't he?
PATriot Out -- Bounce

2005-12-24T16:51:00.000-08:00

By your Host and Hollywood Critic... ThePATriotBlog™

Well... sort of... see I didn't actually go see the following movie but then again... I don't have to smell 3 day old fish to know that it smells... let's move on.

BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN
I'm thinking the key word here is "Broke" as in Broken Morals and Broken Values. Here's the premise (IMDB Story)

A raw, powerful story of two young men, a Wyoming ranch hand and a rodeo cowboy, who meet in the summer of 1963 sheepherding in the harsh, high grasslands of contemporary Wyoming and form an unorthodox yet life-long bond--by turns ecstatic, bitter and conflicted.

In case that wasn't clear enough... it's about two Gay Cowboys in 1963 Montana... basically a hotbed for Unibombers and Unisex Lovers. Riiiight!

Now listen... as a Healthy, Heterosexual, Libertarian... I have no problem with who or what 2 adults do in the privacy of their bedroom. That said, it still begs the question...

What Part of Family Values/Wardrobe Malfunction/Box Office receits Way Way Down Are these Hollyweird elites Not Getting?

Arriving with nudity and explicit gay sex scenes between two cowboys, UNIVERSAL/FOCUS FILMS's BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN has quietly become an award season frontrunner, interviews with Academy members reveal.

NEW YORK DAILY NEWS critic Jack Mathews predicts the gay cowboy movie, which takes place in Wyoming, may be "too much for red-state audiences, but it gives the liberal-leaning Academy a great chance to stick its thumb in conservatives' eyes."

Well... Guess What... evidently the Montana based "Brokeback" dropped a Unibomber sized Dud on "their venacular" the Red State Box Office.
(Story here)

'Brokeback' Faces Burnout at Box Office
Friday, December 23, 2005
By Roger Friedman

Brokeback Burnout? Cowboys Collapsing?

You wouldn’t know it from all the hype and the endless critics’ awards. But Ang Lee’s "Brokeback Mountain" may be suffering a little burnout in its third week of release.

Indeed, "Brokeback"—-aka the Gay Cowboy movie—-has seen declines at the box office every day this week after a huge premiere and subsequent run in gay-concentrated neighborhoods.

But now it may be that reality is setting in, and reality bites, as we all know. On Monday, "Brokeback" was 51 percent off from Sunday. On Tuesday, it was down 9.1 percent from Monday. By Wednesday, it was off another 7.6 percent. All in all, it dropped to No. 10 on its 13th day out.
Today, "Brokeback" nearly doubles its number of theaters to 217, but this may be a real litmus test. There is hardly a straight male in the U.S. who will see this movie voluntarily. No matter how well made it is—-and it is very well crafted by a hugely talented group of people—-it’s hard to imagine a suburban wife coaxing hubby to the Cineplex on Saturday night to see two men consummate their passion. *edit* Woah Fox News... don't Hold back! hehehehehe

Hmmmm... Maybe "Brokeback Mountain" will be the straw that broke the back of the Hollywood Left. Certainly they wont repeat such a foolish mistake and come out with any other politically correct dribble... like foreinstance... a movie depicting the killing of 11 Israeli Olympians by Palestinian Terrorist as a "gray area" nobody's right slash nobody's wrong propaganda manifesto.
'Munich' Backlash Well Under Way
Naaaaaa... they've learned their lesson.

For more... Check out these Links ~~

Early Oscar bets focus on 'Brokeback'
CNN.com - Dec 22 6:27 AM
LOS ANGELES, California (Reuters) -- As Hollywood starts its annual awards season leading to the March 5 Oscars, key front-runners in main categories are either gay-themed or political films, with Ang Lee's "Brokeback Mountain," a drama of love between cowboys, leading the pack in the all-important best picture race.

'Brokeback Mountain' tops Oscar bets
Reuters via Yahoo! News - Dec 22 6:23 AM
Gay and political films are dominating this year's Academy Awards race with some experts expecting that Oscar will wind up wearing pink, either for left-leaning politics or sexual preference.

Brokeback Mountain looks like an Oscar front-runner
The Advocate - Dec 22 4:04 PM
Gay and political films are dominating this year's Academy Awards race with some experts expecting that Oscar will wind up wearing pink, either for left-leaning politics or sexual orientation.

Can 'Brokeback Mountain' Move the Heartland?
New York Newsday - Dec 15 9:26 AM
"Brokeback Mountain" seems to have everything going for it: great reviews, a remarkable opening weekend and dominance in the first wave of the Hollywood awards season, underscored Tuesday by seven Golden Globe nominations, the most of any film.

'Brokeback' begins its breakthrough bid
NorthJersey.com - Dec 18 6:38 AM
"Brokeback Mountain" could be a breakthrough movie. It could be a movie that changes minds, opens hearts, even indirectly affects the law of the land. It could be the movie that finally, courageously, lifts a veil of secrecy on the era's most sensitive, most controversial issue.

2005-12-24T03:52:00.000-08:00

Cartoons of the Day ~~

2005-12-23T20:32:00.000-08:00

RADIATION RANT
by ThePATriotBlog™
The latest in the "Bush Spied... No People Died" Spy flak has to do with the revelation that (hold on to something solid) Our Government actually monitored Muslim Mosque for Radiation. Shocking... I know. The AP writes about it here. (STORY)

FBI Monitored U.S. Sites Without Warrants

Friday, December 23, 2005

WASHINGTON — A classified radiation monitoring program, conducted without warrants, has targeted private U.S. property in an effort to prevent an Al Qaeda attack, federal law enforcement officials confirmed Friday.
While declining to provide details including the number of cities and sites monitored, the officials said the air monitoring took place since the Sept. 11 attacks and from publicly accessible areas — which they said made warrants and court orders unnecessary.
U.S. News and World Report first reported the program on Friday. The magazine said the monitoring was conducted at more than 100 Muslim sites in the Washington, D.C. area — including Maryland and Virginia suburbs — and at least five other cities when threat levels had risen: Chicago, Detroit, Las Vegas, New York and Seattle.
The magazine said that at its peak, three vehicles in Washington monitored 120 sites a day, nearly all of them Muslim targets identified by the FBI. Targets included mosques, homes and businesses, the magazine said.

The revelation of the surveillance program came just days after The New York Times disclosed that the Bush administration spied on suspected terrorist targets in the United States without court orders. President Bush has said he approved the program to protect Americans from attack.

Okay let's break this down PATriot™ style -- old skool

Wasn't it Famous Bank Robber slash Author (isn't it amazing how convicts are all sudo-great writers... thank God I have a day job) Willie Sutton who is quoted as answering the question...
Why do you Rob Banks? ~~ "Because that's where the Money is!"

Well... ah...Duh!

"Ummm... I'll take What was the Religion of the Terrorist who attacked us on September 11th for $200 Alex."
(Alex) "These 19 Islamic Fundamentalist Whack Jobs HiJacked 4 airplanes and crashed them into buildings and a field in PA... Praise Allah!"
"Ummm... Who were the Muslims?

Okay... now before you all start channeling the ghost of Johnny Cochren on me and go all Race Card up in Haaare... answer me this... how many of them were... Catholic? Presbyterian? Lutheran? How about a 7th Day Adventist... do we have a 7th Day Adventist among the 19?
Guess not. Lets move on.

(continued)
Ibrahim Hooper, spokesman for the Council on American-Islamic Relations, a Washington-based civil rights group, said Friday the program "comes as a complete shock to us and everyone in the Muslim community."

"This creates the appearance that Muslims are targeted simply for being Muslims. I don't think this is the message the government wants to send at this time," he said.

Hooper said his organization has serious concerns about the constitutionality of monitoring on private property without a court order.

"comes as a complete shock to us
and everyone in the Muslim community."
Reminds me of the old Claude Rains line from the movie Casablanca, "I'm shocked, shocked to find that gambling is going on in here!"

"This creates the appearance that Muslims are targeted simply for being Muslims. I don't think this is the message the government wants to send at this time."
Yeah... and when that certified White Supremicist wannabe Timothy McVeigh blew up the Federal Building in OK City... the government began picking out White NRA types. I am going to list the quotes... editorials... and denouncements made by everyone about THAT spying and infridgments of our personal rights by the Clinton Administration...

And Here they are...

Sorry... couldn't find any.
Hey... the same people [Libs/Media] that complained that President Bush didn't connect all the dots... are now the same people complaining that he's trying to keep us from becoming a bunch of unconnected dots!

[Radiation = Mushroom Cloud]
Thank you President Bush
PATriot out ~~

2005-12-23T05:05:00.000-08:00

Cartoon Funny of the Day

2005-12-22T18:51:00.000-08:00

ANOTHER BIG
"SEE, HE TOLD US SO"
FOR THE TRUTH DETECTOR
elRUSHBO
by ThePATriotBlog™
Well, I guess we all know who Saddam and his lawyers have been listening to from 12 noon to 3 pm daily. Rush has been spot on (as is norm) with his brilliant anaylsis of how Saddam Hussein and his lawyers simply need to get their Talking Points from the Dems.

Lets Review: STORY

Hussein: White House 'No. 1 liar in the world'
After day of outbursts, the trial adjourns until January
Thursday, December 22, 2005; Posted: 1:44 p.m. EST (18:44 GMT)

Obvious "Torture" at the Hands of the Americans
Wait a tic... didn't we already see this on Maniacal Despot/Dictators Gone Wild?

BAGHDAD, Iraq (CNN) -- The trial of deposed Iraqi leader Saddam Hussein, which has fallen into a pattern of grim testimony interrupted by theatrical outbursts, adjourned Thursday for more than a month.

On Thursday, as in previous days, testimony about brutal treatment was interrupted by courtroom tirades by Hussein and his half brother. Hussein charged Thursday that the Bush administration lied when it claimed there were weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, just at it lied by disputing his claims of being beaten.
"The White House lies once more," Hussein said, "the No. 1 liar in the world. They said in Iraq, there is chemicals, and there is a relation to terrorism, and they announced later we couldn't find any of that in Iraq. "Also, they said that what Saddam Hussein (said) was not true," he continued in an apparent reference to his claims Wednesday that he and all seven of his codefendants were beaten and tortured by their American captors.
"I have documented the injuries I had before three American medical teams," he said. *edit* I wander if Dr. Howard Dean was one of them?
Hussein later appeared to waver, saying the medical teams numbered "two, for sure, unequivocally." He began to heal after eight months, he said, but bruises remain three years later. We don't lie," he said. "The White House lies." The U.S. State Department and a spokesman for the U.S. Embassy in Baghdad said Hussein's claims of beatings and torture were untrue.
Meanwhile, defense attorneys requested that the testimony of prosecution witnesses not be broadcast until all the witnesses have testified, saying they are watching each other's testimonies and repeating them. The court said it would consider that request.

Hussein and seven codefendants are charged with crimes against humanity, including the killings of 140 men and boys in the town of Dujail following a failed 1982 assassination attempt against Hussein there. Earlier in the day, Hassan launched into long political diatribes, hurling insults at prosecutors, complaining about the conditions of their detention and challenging the legitimacy of the court.
Ranting about the food he is being served, Hassan said a New York Times magazine column mentioned that his ribs are showing because of weight loss.
"This is not justice," Hassan declared. "This is not democracy." Asked to stop by prosecutors, Hassan said, "My talk is strengthening the court, and will give it credibility."

In the Video Uplink CNN provides, the announcer states Saddam has ranted that:

The Trial was Illegitimate
(Bush Illegitimate Googled brought 1,370,000 hits)

The War was Illegal
(Dems claim War Illegal 1,360,000)

President Bush was Fraudulent
(Bush Fraudulent 1,530,000... we have a winner)

I found this little ditty here (STORY)

The most vehement opponents, including the Rev. Al Sharpton and Ohio Rep. Dennis J. Kucinich, have been the harshest in their condemnation of the administration. Kucinich said the failure to find any weapons of mass destruction shows the war was "based on fraudulent claims." Sharpton called the war illegitimate.

Thanks Dems... we knew we could count on ya!
Oh yeah... who's Saddam's new lead attorney?
Former Democratic President Lyndon "Quagmire" Johnson's former Attorney General Ramsey Clark.
What's the matter Saddam... wouldn't Janet Reno return your calls?

More On Story Here:
Ruetters
Guardian
AP

2005-12-04T09:44:00.000-08:00

LUKE WARM
FOR TEACHER
Evidently there is an epidemic in America...
An epidemic of Female Teacher's having sex with male Students.

This leads me to ask a question that threatens to undermine the very Fabric of which this Country was Founded...

A question heretofore unspeakable...
A question of Deep Dark Secrets that until now...
Was thought buried safely... and permanently...
Swept neatly under the carpet...
A question that must be asked and asked right here and right now...

Where the #&%@ were all these teachers when I was in school???

But I digress... have you taken a really good look at some of these "Teachers Gone Wild"?

Melissa Deel... the 30ish something Virginia Faculerette who is accused of having "sexual relations" with a 13 year old male student. Ewwwwwwww... I mean "Yuck" to the having sex with the toddler Melissa and "Yuck" to having sex with Melissa... 'sup with the mug shot? They need a new Reality show... "America's Most Wanted Makeovers". Hey guys... can you imagine waking up to that rubbing your thigh saying in a smokey... raspy voice... "How'z 'bout ONE MORE TIME Tiger, this time I'LL get on Top!"
Ummmm... Thank You... No!
Then there's the case of California Teachypooh Sarah Bench-Solorio... charged with "Doing It" with TWO (count'em) TWO 13 year old guys. Hey I survived the Public School System and even I know two 13 year olds does not equal one 26 year old! They evidently were taking turns... one would be "Tripping the Light Fantastic" with Sarah while the other watched "Blues Clues" on the Big Screen... Helloooooo... pass me the oreos! That is Sooooo Not Fetch!
And of course the MacMommy and most famous Grade School Bottom Feeder of them all... Mary K Letourneau. Okay I'll admit I might even hit that... take away the Astronaut's Wife hairdo... put her in something lacey... like a handkerchief... and you might have something. Now listen... just cause a girl's seasoned... and turned 30ish... it's not a death sentence... some of the best tasting Banana's have Brown Spots on them.

Wow... that was deep! *writes it down*

Okay maybe I'm being harsh... I realize guys are basically horndawgs and sluts and we'll hit just about anything... even the Melissa's and Sarah's of this world. My question is this...

Where are all the hawtie babe teachers?

I'm talking Michelle Pfieffer from "Dangerous Minds"... Jeri Ryan from "Boston Public"... Famke Janssen from "The Faculty"

Well thank God one babilicious bimbo hawtie teacher did manage to get caught and thrust into the spot light... yes were talkin' 'bout...

Pamela Turner Rogers
27 year old PE hawtie who's turn ons are...
Horseback riding...
Walking in the rain...
and guys that know their ABC's!

Aiiiiiight!!!
Now that's what I'M talkin' 'bout!

Pammy is also charged with 15 counts of sexual battery and 13 counts of statutory rape on a 13 year old boy...
You Gooooooo girl!

Let's take a closer look at Pam's resume'...

Okay...

She's got the Biker Bikini Babe Look down... get me "MotorHead Magazine" on the phone... I think we found our Miss October!

Moving along...

Yeah... Yeah...
I think I see where she's going with this... interresting career move!

Get me "Runway Skanks Magazine" on the phone... Pammy is the New Tyra... or is that Pink is the New Orange... who can keep up?

But while we're at it... how'z 'bout...

"Bride's Magazine Monthly"

Aint no thaaaaang but a chicken waaaang... It's all good!
I guess what I'm saying is... 13 year old guys of the world... let's keep the Fantsy FerRealz!

If you're gunna "do" your teacher... let's have more Turner-Rogers and fewer Deels and Bench-Solorio's.

But again I digress...
Let me take you back to the early 80's whenced Music Video's and my manhood was birtheded.

Heavy metal ruled and of course there was no band heavier than Van Halen. In 1983 they came out with "Hot for Teacher" and thus... a new Gold Standard was established for "doing" one's teacher.

And with that... I leave you with the following sage words from Diamond Dave himself...

Oh wow, man !
Wait a second man.
Whaddaya think the teacher’s
gonna look like this year ?
My butt, man !
T-t-teacher stop that screaming,
teacher don’t you see ?
Don’t wanna be no uptown fool.
Maybe I should go to hell,
but I’m doin’ well,
Teacher needs to see me after school.

I think of all the education that I missed.
But then my homework was never quite like this.
Got it bad, got it bad, got it bad,
I’m hot for teacher.
I got it bad, so bad,
I’m hot for teacher.

Hey, I heard you missed us,
We’re baaaaack !
I brought my pencil
Gimme something to write on, man
I heard about your lessons,
but lessons are so cold.
I know about this school.
Little girl from cherry lane,
how did you get so bold ?
How did you know that golden rule ?

Oh man, I think the clock is slow
That's Funny...
I don’t feel tardy
Class dismissed

*Bonus Question: any guesses as to who the hawtie blonde is in the video above? Think... "The Great One"
No Not Mark Levine

2005-09-01T09:28:00.000-07:00

TOUR De FRAME UP
I see London... I see France
Just keep your effin' hands off Lance

The French are accusing Seven time Tour de France champion and cancer survivor Lance "I'm soooooo doing Left Wing Hawtie Sheryl Crow and you're Not" Armstrong of using Performance inhancing drugs. Lance denies it all and claims this is all a Frame Up on the part of the French sports daily L’Equipe.

See this all got started when French Cycling Officials found two strange and unknown substances in Lance Armstrong's Hotel Room. Test results determined the "strange substances" to be...

Soap and Deodorant.

Hey France...
Bite Me and
LEAVE OUR LANCE ALONE!

2005-08-27T21:07:00.000-07:00

I THINK IT WAS THE SEX
It's All About the O...hio

Leading off today's posty is this juicey tidbit from the great state of Ohio.
65 Girls At Area School Pregnant
School To Unveil Three-Prong Program
EDT August 26, 2005

CANTON, Ohio -- There are 490 female students at Timken High School, and 65 are pregnant, NewsChannel5 reported. Some would say that movies, TV, videogames, lazy parents and lax discipline may all be to blame. School officials are not sure what has contributed to so many pregnancies but in response to them, the school is launching a three-prong educational program to address pregnancy, prevention and parenting.

Ummmm let me get this straight... School Officials are not sure what contributed to so many pregnancies???

I'm thinking it was the
S-E-X
I'm thnking they need to quit teaching the Sex Ed class in the same car as the Driver's Ed class.

And get this...
it's the best part...
The school's nick name is... The Trojans

Gotta Love the Karma!
"Krishna Krishna... Hare Hare!"